Four days is too short.

I’m ready for the roommates again, though.

Unrelated: Why are things confusing?

Or, rather, why must I psych myself out by reading too much into things?

Blerg.

“Zachary Horst currently lives in Austin, TX and loves everything about it. He is studying Graphic Design at the Art Institute of Austin and has found that typography is one of his favorite areas of the design field. At the moment, he is a Barista at Starbucks and has never before worked with so many amazing people. Some of his favorite things are cream cheese, old books, lions, good conversation late at night on the porch, and soy cappuccinos when the foam is perfect.

Zach thinks that there is nothing more important than people, and that if he can benefit and love people through his life and art, he will be satisfied.”

I spent a long time last night talking to Ryan, Kelli and Nathan about life and whatever came up in the conversation, and I ended up being really depressed, because we were all asking each other about what our goals were for life in one, five, and ten years, and I haven’t really thought about that in a long time. I mean, I’ve generally though about it, but I just don’t have many solid goals. I want to work in the field of graphic design field after I graduate. I want to help people. I want to influence people’s lives for the better. But, how am I going to do that? I just don’t feel very useful right now. I know that’s probably complete nonsense and I’m just being ridiculous, but that’s how I’ve felt lately. Making this portfolio is going to help, I think. It will give me something tangible to focus on for more than a few days.

Anyway, I know I don’t have to know where the future is headed right now. If anything, I’m okay with not knowing at this point. The future is just so open right now and I’m having trouble handling it.

I’m going to go pray.

And painting. Lots of painting. And reading. I’ve been rereading parts of A Million Miles in a Thousand Years (which is definitely one of my most favorite books) and The Great Divorce (also a favorite). I watched The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe today as well. These are all things I do when I’m resetting.

Also, jsyk, resetting means thinking, being alone, and thinking some more. And then writing and creating by what comes out of that.

Things:

.Life is only formulaic if you are rich enough to afford the formula.
.There aren’t formulas for life.
.Nothing beats real, deep, thoughtful conversation.
.Live a better story.
.Don’t let the panic bring you down.
.God is the purest form of love. Even when I’m not capable of understanding the gravity of that statement.
.There’s something inherently satisfying to me about being around lots and lots of books.

It’s taken me a while to decide what I think about it, and here’s what I’ve decided:

First of all; visually, I like it. It’s wonderfully designed. Second of all; it’s terrible for Starbucks.

The new starbucks logo and design style has slowly been pushed out for the last seven months and is still slowly being pushed out. I actually think the new design is much, much more aesthetically pleasing that the old one. Just as a logo, it’s great. Simple, clean, well-designed and clear. “This is the siren, you will want me.”

The problem I have is, the new design is not Starbucks. Well, maybe it is Starbucks (I think the new logo and design style looks corporate, homogenized and impersonal, so maybe it is fitting.) but it’s not what Starbucks is supposed to be. It’s supposed to be a coffeeshop. And a coffeeshop is supposed to be grassroots, quirky, unique and local. The old logo was endearing in it’s awkwardness. The old design style felt handmade, with overlays of burlap texture and hand-stamped lettering. The new design is too modern. (It reminds me of Paul Rand, but not in a good way.) All the lines are clean and all the text is sans-serif. And it feels corporate. It feels like each Starbucks is going to have exactly the same character, but that shouldn’t be the truth. Every Starbucks, though they should be consistant in the drinks they serve, should have it’s own feel. Starbucks has so many programs going on that are supposed to make it a part of the community instead of just a company plopping down in the middle of somewhere and not giving a care to what’s going on around them. Starbucks loves to tell its baristas that it’s about “the human connection” and “nurturing the human spirit,” but that’s not what their design is communicating.

Am I reading too much into things? Probably, but this kind of thing is going to be my job someday, so I don’t care. Starbucks, I would love to fix your graphic design problems. You could modernize your look without making it feel impersonal. I promise.

Life has been so full.
An endless line of things, one after another.
Inconsequential, eventful nothing
I forget to think, I forge to live
I don’t realize how much I miss spontaneity.

*

The clouds came back yesterday
And the realization of how much I missed them
crashed down on me
I realized they put me in my place.
I’m so small. I’m

so

small.

If I only do things to keep doing things
then nothing’s worth it.
All the little random adventures
and all the people I encounter
and all the spontaneous conversations that shape who we are
These are of utmost importance.

I hope the clouds don’t leave for so long again
–I can’t afford to forget.

Also, after work today Kelli and I went to whole foods and home depot. We got herbs to put in her planter for in the kitchen and I got some larger pots for my plants and spent the evening out on the patio transplanting stuff and thing about everything and enjoying this amazing weather. Thinking about how I need to get stamps so I can write people letters, and how it sucks not living in the same city as Liz, because that means we don’t often get to just hang out and that we spend most of our days with people the other one of us doesn’t know, so it’s hard to tell each other about our days. I miss you, Liz! Also, The Avett Brothers are still amazing. And the rain we got today was like manna from heaven. Renewing and refreshing on this weird day I’m having. Thank God!

I want to go on a spontaneous roadtrip to lay on the ground somewhere where there are millions of stars and think about how little I am.

So yeah, here it is:

People are the most valuable thing we have access to. Lives. Experiences. And our daily interactions with each other person are the most important thing there is. I mean, aside from our interactions with God (and I don’t think these two things are actually unrelated) there is nothing more important than how we affect the people around us. Just go read the long Lewis quote on my Love page, and I think it will make more sense if it doesn’t.

I’m pretty sure you will love all of it. It feels like your writing. There’s SO much emotion in each song.

Also, go find where I posted “Living of Love.”